What My Eyebrows Taught Me About Self-Acceptance

On beauty standards, subconscious beliefs, cancer, confidence, and learning to love what makes us unmistakably ourselves

I figured since I’ve already written a love letter to my hair and a tribute to my radiated vagina, it’s time to publicly love on my eyebrows. My eyebrows. The last to hold on.

And while the hair on my head is just beginning to sprout back like duck down, my eyebrows have already returned to something resembling many regular people's non-chemo eyebrows. And they've only just begun.

I grew up feeling some embarrassment about my thick brows. Were they unfeminine? Too Jew-y? Too nerdy? I sometimes joked that if I didn’t get them waxed soon, I’d be giving off Albert Einstein or Groucho Marx vibes.

Over time, eyebrow trends came and went (thanks, Patriarchy, for your ever-changing beauty standards), so I was genuinely shocked the first time someone told me mine were beautiful. In a world of eyebrow pencils, microblading, threading, tinting, laminating, and an entire industry devoted to making eyebrows look like something other than what naturally grows above our eyes, I gradually came to appreciate mine.

At some point in the '90s, they even inspired one of my hypothetical band names: Disheveled Eyebrow. (I'm still keeping hope alive that I'll someday learn to play an instrument and become a rock star. 😉) But this last round of cancer gave me an entirely new relationship with those unruly little overachievers.

As chemotherapy did its thing, the hair on my head departed. Then the rest of my body followed suit. But my eyebrows? Those stubborn little bastards held on longer than anything else. And when they finally thinned out, I missed them in a way I hadn't anticipated.

Because eyebrows do more than frame a face. They help us communicate without saying a word. They rise in surprise, furrow in concentration, arch in skepticism, and participate in every gloriously expressive WTF moment life throws our way. They're part of how we recognize ourselves. And how the world recognizes us.

The Things We Learn to Believe About Ourselves

Here's something I've been thinking about as those two magnificent strips of hair make their comeback. When I was younger, I didn't arrive at the conclusion that my eyebrows were somehow too much all on my own. Somewhere along the way, I'd absorbed ideas about what was attractive, feminine, desirable, and acceptable. And without necessarily questioning where those ideas came from, I began measuring myself against them.

That's how so many of our beliefs about ourselves take shape. We absorb messages from family, peers, culture, relationships, and experiences. Some are explicit. Others are so subtle we barely notice them. Over time, those messages can become familiar internal narratives:

• I'm too much.

• I'm not enough.

• I need to change something about myself to be accepted.

• Other people are more attractive, capable, confident, or worthy than I am.

And here's the tricky part: even when we consciously recognize that a belief is outdated, irrational, or unfair, we may still find ourselves responding as though it's true. We can intellectually understand that our worth isn't determined by our appearance, our accomplishments, or someone else's approval, while still feeling the emotional pull of those old expectations.

What Self-Confidence and Self-Acceptance Have to Do With Hypnosis

As a hypnotist with a background in conflict resolution, I'm particularly interested in the space between what we consciously know and what we continue to believe or feel about ourselves. It's one of the reasons I love this work.

Someone may consciously know they're capable of speaking in front of an audience, yet experience an overwhelming fear of being judged.

Someone else may recognize that they're accomplished and competent, yet feel like an impostor every time they step into a new level of responsibility.

And someone may genuinely believe that beauty comes in countless forms, yet struggle to extend that same generosity to their own reflection.

These aren't necessarily failures of logic or willpower. Sometimes they're expressions of beliefs, associations, and protective responses that have become deeply familiar.

Hypnosis offers one way to explore and work with those patterns. Through a collaborative process, we can examine the associations and internal narratives that influence how someone experiences themselves, and use focused attention, imagery, suggestion, and their own strengths to practice more supportive ways of thinking and responding.

The goal isn't to convince someone they're beautiful, brilliant, or fearless by repeating affirmations until they surrender; it's to help create space for a different relationship with themselves. One that isn't automatically governed by an old story.

And importantly, self-confidence and self-acceptance don't have to mean loving every single thing about ourselves every minute of every day. Sometimes it simply means no longer treating a perceived imperfection as evidence that something is wrong with us.

The Unexpected Abundance of Getting Something Back

I suppose there's something fitting about my eyebrows' return during harvest season, when the natural world reminds us that growth, loss, dormancy, and renewal are all part of the same cycle.

We're accustomed to thinking of abundance as having more. More hair. More youth. More beauty. More of whatever we've been taught we're supposed to want. But maybe abundance is simply recognizing the extraordinary in what we already have.

And sometimes gratitude is discovering that something you once wished were smaller, thinner, or less conspicuous is precisely what you're delighted to see growing back.

My eyebrows have been with me through every version of myself: the self-conscious Jewish girl, the young woman negotiating impossible beauty standards, the adult who finally learned to appreciate her own face, and the cancer survivor who watched so much of her familiar reflection disappear.

Now they're back. Bushy, unapologetic, and apparently in no mood to conform. And I find myself looking in the mirror with a whole new appreciation for those two magnificent strips of hair above my eyes. Maybe that's one of the more surprising gifts of getting older, living through difficult things, and becoming better acquainted with ourselves: We begin to question whose standards we've been trying to meet in the first place.

And perhaps we discover that some of the things we spent years trying to change were never problems that needed solving. Who knew a little follicular rebellion could feel so sacred?

Welcome back, you beautiful, disheveled bastards.

---

Jennifer Dolinka, M.S., is a Certified Hypnotist, trained conflict analyst, and creator of the Clear Calm Confident™ method. After years working internationally in complex organizational environments, she now supports clients around the world in navigating something even more fundamental: the inner conflicts that keep them stuck.

Jennifer helps self-aware, capable humans release anxiety and self-doubt, shift limiting beliefs, ease stress and discomfort, and reconnect with their own clarity and inner wisdom. She specializes in supporting professionals, students, and survivors who are ready to move from overwhelm to grounded confidence.

Her work blends science-informed hypnotherapy, experience-based insight, and a deep respect for the mind–body connection. Above all, Jennifer’s approach is collaborative and empowering – helping clients change patterns at the root so life can move forward with greater ease and self-trust.

Curious what your mind is capable of? Book a complimentary Discovery session to explore what's possible.